The Anneslee Poems: Vision

You don’t see me.

You never have.

You can’t

because every time

you look at me

you can only see

what you’re not

what I’m not

what went wrong

when I was burst

into the world

two months early.

So stop looking.

The Anneslee Poems: Up in Smoke

You burned me

down to ash

and then begged me

to come back

as if there wouldn’t be any scars

or burn marks

where you lit the match.

But I just kept burning.

Nothing put me out.

I just kept burning

down

down

down

until the ground

absorbed the dust

that was left.

There’s not even space

for flowers

or a marker

or anything

but a shadow

of the life

you snatched

with one scratch

against the box.

There’s nothing

to show

the damage done,

and I’m not coming

back

no matter what.

I’ve had enough.

I’d just rather be a memory.

The Anneslee Poems: The Stories We Tell

She lies

every time

she opens

her mouth.

I lie

only

when I talk

about her.

You

just don’t speak – 

The Anneslee Poems: The Kiss

Eye to eye

I waited,

hoping

down to my bones

that my mouth

didn’t make a promise

I wasn’t ready to keep.

You lick your lips

and lean into mine,

but I hold firm.

I’m not ready

for the follow-through.

You smile

as if you’ve read my mind

and say you only want a kiss.

I let go and give in,

sinking into you,

lips covering lips

until we are one.

You cannot part

from me –

I no longer know

where I start and end.

I am yours.

I always have been.

And all I ever gave you

was just one kiss.

The Anneslee Poems: Right of Survival

Your lips upturn

as if on queue,

falling in line

with the rest of your face.

You do what you have to.

You keep the cadence going

as if the beat of your heart

depended on your feet.

Stop moving. Stop abiding.

Just stop.

The Anneslee Poems: Reflection

I see more than you think –

that look in your eyes

holds more words

than your mouth

could ever speak.

I know what you think of me.

I don’t need ESP

or psychic ability.

You give it all away

like a girl walking the streets –

undervalued, overused and needy.

Don’t bother

looking away now.

I’ve already seen

too much

to see you the way

I used to.

The Anneslee Poems: Past Present Future Past

I see her –

how she looks at you

and I know

it won’t be long.

You never could resist

pouty lips –

the way she turns them on you,

it just isn’t fair.

The way she smiles at you,

it changes the air in the room

like everything you ever wanted

is possible

because she’s by your side.

She is the sun and the moon,

the gravity holding you

down –

oppressing you –

and you don’t even know it.

Who could compete

with a girl like that?

I should know –

I used to be her. 

The Anneslee Poems: Masquerade

I see the cracks

in your mask

and they’re only getting

bigger.

We both know

the face

that you hide

will not stay covered

much longer.

How many times

will you try

to staple and glue

and staple and glue

it back together?

What will you do

when everyone else

can see what I see?

The Anneslee Poems: Lost in Wonderland

Another weekend

down the rabbit hole,

but I found

no potions

to hide me

or keep me safe.

Just once

I’d like to run away

to a place

you can’t follow,

a Wonderland

you won’t go.

The fat grimacing cat says,

“We’re all mad here”

but I’m not

mad enough

lost long enough

or strong enough

to try to find

the right hole

to get lost in.

The Anneslee Poems: Lie To Me

I see it coming

like a freight train

a mile down the tracks

ready to roll over me

but not to stop

at a moment’s notice.

They say the truth

will set you free

but all the truth

does is set free

your need

to get out

as fast as you can

because I’ll never catch

you –

you’re just a boy

dressed like a man.

I see you running,

desperate to escape

an impossible situation

where you cannot save

or be saved.

You’re already out

the door

and your feet

haven’t even moved yet.

This is why

I lie –

nobody wins

being honest.

The Anneslee Poems: Let It Burn

I strike the match

and touch it

to my dress

until I burn up

in smoke

and ash –

a ghost

who can fly away

farther than the moon

away from you

away from this

and all the hate

that swallows you

when you crawl

into your bottle

every night.

The Anneslee Poems: Inheritance

There’s something vile

in me,

like rotten fish carcasses

baking in the hot July sun.

I can’t scrub it off

or cut it out.

Even burning it

leaves the smell behind.

It’s a part of me –

this stench.

It’s a part of the bone and sinew –

the flesh –

I cannot escape.

It’s you. 

The Anneslee Poems: Heart Scars

I remember

your hands –

how soft

they looked,

how hard

they felt

against

my skin

over and over

as they slammed

into me,

trying to mold me

into something

or someone

more like you.

No one ever knew

what those hands could do.

Not like I did.

Not like I do.

Because let’s not pretend

those hands

don’t still leave a mark.

Your handprint

isn’t just a memory to me,

but rather a scar

I’ll have long after you’re gone.

The Anneslee Poems: Every Day

Missed calls,

Mountain Chablis,

beige bedspreads,

bruising handprints

– a mother’s love.