Control

You pulled the strings
too tight
and when they popped
you were surprised
as if you didn't know
you were pulling
too hard.

I still bare the scars
from all the fights
we had over the years -
me running
and you yanking me
back
like a dog on a chain
trying to run away
but never getting the chance.

Innocent
and loyal to a fault,
a kick to my stomach
if I didn't do my part
like a feral cat
you refused to put down
and never would let out
again once you
captured me.

You held me down
and smothered me
until I bit you back.
Then you took
my teeth
like that
wasn't barbaric.

When others come by
and I lie obedient
at your feet,
they never see
what you've done.

They just see
how well
you've trained
me to stay.

Words

Your words stick
to me
like a second skin
I can't get rid of
or remove.

They follow me
everywhere I go -
I can't escape.
You made sure
of that.

It's like you etched
them on the folds
of my brain
and every thought
I have
contains
you.

If only
they were words
of love
instead
of words you used
to tear down
to create a better me
like you
were some kind
of Frankenstein -
single minded
after a goal
that made no sense,
that nobody else
could see
but you.

You brought
me to life
but
I wasn't what
you'd dreamed of
when you whispered
so many words
into my ears,
wishing
and hoping
for more.

Now the monster
is loose.
What do you do?
You burn the words
into me like a brand
so that I cannot stand
to be touched
anywhere your breath
has landed upon me.

I am suffocating
beneath your words,
struggling for air
that you have not breathed
before me.

I wish I could shed
this skin,
you
like a snake
in the grass
or under a rock.

I would hide away
from you
and your words
if only
I weren't me.

Shy

I stand in your shadow
and shrink myself down
until I am inside
your chalk outline.

Look as hard as you like
but you won't see me.
I blend in
even though I wish
I could stand out.

I am the background paint,
the slate grey fading
as the sun rises.

I wouldn't know what to do
with all that color.
I slide back behind you
and stay where I belong.

The Kitty Tribe

Adopted strangers
living under one roof,
you depend on me
and I depend on you
as we move
towards life.

We are elastic,
connected,
growing
and stretching,
testing
each other
to see
if we'll stay
forever
or run away
the first chance
we get.

Love
is staying
afterwards,
when the scars
heal
and the wounds
are just memories.

I close the door
and look around.
I'm still here
and so are you.

We wrap ourselves
in each other
and fall
into sleep,
giving up the day
to our dreams.
I'll be here
when you wake
and you will
be here too.

This is my new life -
spending my nights
with a band of kitties
I call my kitty tribe.

(In Honor of National Pet Day)

Christopher

Our paths
have differed
over the years.

You've gone
your way
and I've tried
to go mine.

I know sometimes
it seems
I've gone awry,
but I always know
how to get home.

You taught me
truth.
You kept me
safe.
You showed me
love.
You pushed me
forward.
You forgave me
everything.

Miles may separate us
but we know who we are.
You are my brother,
my hero, my friend
and family,
my heart,
my love,
my home.

(In honor of National Sibling Day, I celebrate my brother)

Separate But the Same

Take a minute
to pick up the phone
because you never know
how my life is
until you can ask
me yourself
"how's it going?".

I want to know
you and how you are
but the words
run from me
before I can speak.

I never know
what to say to you.
It's not that I
don't want to talk
or share
or confess
because I do
every time I open my mouth.

I'm just always
the problem
and never the answer.
I wish I was more
or less
than who I am now
because maybe then
I'd know how
to be around you
without wondering
if you think I'm an idiot.

Because I kind of am.
Aren't we all?

The world is finite
and so are we,
so let's not try
to make our history
the only future
we have left.

You are my heart
and you always
have been
even if I
am just a stone
in your favorite shoe.

We are one
of the same
but still different,
genetic
but yet separate,
which means
you are love,
blood
and everything
in between.

I
support
forgive
cherish
choose
you-

not because
I have to
but because
I have loved
you since the first moment
my lungs held a breath
and it's an ache
my heart
refuses to forget
no matter how many times

you
wound
forget
hate
don't choose
me.

We are connected
forever plus ten
because in the end
there is no choice
to how this life goes
or how we fit
in it.

We just do.
Me and you.
One heart
divided
between
us two.

Long Live Regret

One bad choice
can lead to a lifetime
of regret
but I
would rather have
our memories
to forget
than wonder
what if
every time
I see you.
There are too many
ifs in that sentence
for me to sleep
soundly at night.
Give me the regret
and I'll give you
the best
time you've
ever spent,
showing you
what the difference
is between me
and all the girls
that came before
and anyone
who might come after
because I know
better
than to assume
this is going to be
forever.