Homecoming

The air is clean and crisp
as it permeates my every cell
I am refreshed
fulfilled
yet I think of you.

There are green sprouts
bursting from the brown
of all the plants
in our complex
and I am eager to see the colors
of spring and summer return,
eager to see this earth
renewed
because maybe
then I will feel better
feel brighter
with so much life around me.

Maybe then I'll breathe
easier
sleep better
watch the night burn brighter
and think less
about getting in my car
and driving 3000 miles
just to see if you're there
because somehow
I still let myself
believe
you are.

I leave the windows down
as I drive home
and I listen to the crickets
and the frogs
call out in hopes
they are not alone
like I am
and I envy them -

They'll go on,
they'll find what they're looking for;
but me
I'll just keep driving
this dark road
hoping
someday
it'll lead me back to you.

I glance at the field
I pass every time I drive
this road
and there they are:
soft brown coats
and black tails
a family of deer
feeding together
and it fills me
with undeniable joy.

There is so much
you'd love here
but the thing you'd love most
is how happy here
makes me and I realize
I don't need
to go anywhere
anymore
to find you.

The road passes
quickly beneath me
and in one quick breath
I am home -
somewhere I haven't been
in a long time.