Please Leave, Now Don't

I say the words
that will make you go,
make you leave
before you
can hurt me.

You think I'm someone
I will never be -
a golden girl
with all the right words
who'll make you happy.

But what do I know
about happiness?
Is it smiling the way I do
when you call or text?
Is it laughing at your jokes
because even when they aren't funny
I love that you tried?
Is it wanting to call
every time
anything happens?

You don't see
anything but gold
but what you don't know
is that I bend
more easily
than you think.

I can't take any more dents
in my armor -
nothing gold holds true
and you don't know me
the way you think you do.

I'm a phony,
iron to the core
with a shiny coating
to make you believe
I'm more.

I say the words
I know will make you go
but what you don't know,
what you can't see
is how sad it makes me
when you leave.