Shedding the Skin of Our Youth

I watched you slip out of sight

as I drove out of town

and out of your life

like it had all been nothing

serious or worthwhile. 

No tears fell

for you or what was

because I knew

what was wasn't real. 

It wasn't the fairytale

or the second chance

for a high school romance

gone bad. It was just comfort

and punishment -

a different kind of pain

to help us forget

the pain of everything else

because everything else

was just too much

to deal with alone

at the time. 

Three years 

have disappeared

since then 

and suddenly

there you are

smiling

cheek-to-cheek

with another girl

in the paper. 

I always knew

there'd be someone new

standing where I stood

like I was never there - 

not once or twice

or for life

like you wanted

(a prison sentence

I wasn't comfortable with). 

It was your way

of moving forward

and it looks like

you've done it -

found your way

to a new life

where I am just 

what was,

not what is

or what will be.  

My way was to leave

and never see

your face again,

knowing you and I 

weren't right

for the second time

or ever again

just like we weren't right

the first time around. 

You look happy,

but it's just a picture

and I have a few

of my own

with that same look

on your face

and we both know

how well that went. 

Maybe you just take

good photos

when it counts

because all the other times

when the camera

wasn't out

you were always 

looking

somewhere else,

for someone else

to keep you going

like I was never enough

even though

you said I was

over and over

like you were hoping

if you said it enough

it would be true.

Or maybe you 

just wanted me

to believe it too. 

I don't know

but I certainly hope

this girl is enough

to keep you focused

on her

and her alone

because you both

deserve

to be enough

for each other. 

I smile at the thought

and toss the paper

out with our memories - 

I don't need them

anymore

now that I know

I didn't break

you 

twice.