I Let You In, You Let Me Down

I spoke the words

out loud,

giving this pain

a name

so you would know

it's real. 

I let the truth

spill out of my mouth, 

revealing all

like word vomit,

hoping you

could understand

what I've been through. 

But you didn't.

You don't. 

And I haven't spoken

to you since. 

What's the point

if you don't listen?

I know my demons

by name now -

I guess 

thanks to you -

but you don't need 

to meet them

or know them too,

especially

if you're not around

to help me fight them.

This pain isn't fleeting,

it isn't going away. 

It's another battle

in a war I fight 

every time I wake up, 

but it's mine. 

It isn't something

you can fix

or prevent

or take away.

You used to ask me

to be more open,

to tell you things

you didn't know. 

Now that I have, 

I wish I never did.

Maybe then

I wouldn't be

so disappointed

in all the ways

I've let you in

only to be 

left alone.