Forever

Your eyes are wide
and enveloping
like a zoom camera
with a panoramic view.
Your lens follows
my every movement,
looking for some resemblance
of you.

You want me to be
someone I am not
You want to see
yourself.

I want to disappear
like Houdini -
only better,
forever.

I want to go places
you can't find,
places in my mind
where you can't criticize,
alienate or crush.

I want to be swallowed whole
like Jonah -
only longer and better,
forever.

Silence -
a seven letter word
for you.

You never wanted me,
not as I am.
You still don't.
You can't see
what or who I am.

I am not you.

Too fat.
No white stork will take me back.
No spell can whisk me away
to Never Never Land.

I want to forget,
to pull the memories out
like a stubborn tooth
that has taken root
deep down inside.

Your words
your hate
they constrict
my heart
my head
with shrink-wrap
and rubber bands
forever.