Paralysis

I do not feel below my neck
like a quadriplegic
with nothing left.

My face
my smile
are fake
and immobile.

My heart feels still
in my chest
because I cannot feel
below my neck.

I cannot feel the ache
you left
when you decided
it wasn't me
you wanted to see
coming down the aisle
toward you
in the off-white
off-the-shoulder dress.

It was never me
though your eyes
said it could be
or I just wanted to believe
for once a happy ending
could be mine.

It wasn't meant for me.

My heart is paralyzed with fear.
No one can get close.
I'm a quadriplegic ghost
refusing to believe
you weren't the one for me.