Friday, June 27, 2014

The Anneslee Poems: Vision

You don’t see me.
You never have.

You can’t
because every time
you look at me
you can only see
what you’re not
what I’m not
what went wrong
when I was burst
into the world
two months early.

So stop looking.

The Anneslee Poems: Up in Smoke

You burned me
down to ash
and then begged me
to come back
as if there wouldn’t be any scars
or burn marks
where you lit the match.

But I just kept burning.

Nothing put me out.
I just kept burning
until the ground
absorbed the dust
that was left.

There’s not even space
for flowers
or a marker
or anything
but a shadow
of the life
you snatched
with one scratch
against the box.

There’s nothing
to show
the damage done,
and I’m not coming
no matter what.

I’ve had enough.

I’d just rather be a memory.

The Anneslee Poems: The Stories We Tell

She lies
every time
she opens
her mouth.

I lie
when I talk
about her.


just don’t speak – 

The Anneslee Poems: The Kiss

Eye to eye
I waited,
down to my bones
that my mouth
didn’t make a promise
I wasn’t ready to keep.

You lick your lips
and lean into mine,
but I hold firm.

I’m not ready
for the follow-through.

You smile
as if you’ve read my mind
and say you only want a kiss.

I let go and give in,
sinking into you,
lips covering lips
until we are one.

You cannot part
from me –
I no longer know
where I start and end.

I am yours.
I always have been.
And all I ever gave you

was just one kiss.

The Anneslee Poems: Right of Survival

Your lips upturn
as if on queue,
falling in line
with the rest of your face.

You do what you have to.

You keep the cadence going
as if the beat of your heart
depended on your feet.

Stop moving. Stop abiding.

Just stop.

The Anneslee Poems: Reflection

I see more than you think –
that look in your eyes
holds more words
than your mouth
could ever speak.

I know what you think of me.

I don’t need ESP
or psychic ability.
You give it all away
like a girl walking the streets –
undervalued, overused and needy.

Don’t bother
looking away now.
I’ve already seen
too much
to see you the way

I used to.

The Anneslee Poems: Past Present Future Past

I see her –
how she looks at you
and I know
it won’t be long.

You never could resist
pouty lips –
the way she turns them on you,
it just isn’t fair.
The way she smiles at you,
it changes the air in the room
like everything you ever wanted
is possible
because she’s by your side.

She is the sun and the moon,
the gravity holding you
down –
oppressing you –
and you don’t even know it.

Who could compete
with a girl like that?

I should know –

I used to be her. 

The Anneslee Poems: Masquerade

I see the cracks
in your mask
and they’re only getting

We both know
the face
that you hide
will not stay covered
much longer.

How many times
will you try
to staple and glue
and staple and glue
it back together?

What will you do
when everyone else

can see what I see?

The Anneslee Poems: Lost in Wonderland

Another weekend
down the rabbit hole,
but I found
no potions
to hide me
or keep me safe.

Just once
I’d like to run away
to a place
you can’t follow,
a Wonderland
you won’t go.

The fat grimacing cat says,
“We’re all mad here”
but I’m not
mad enough
lost long enough
or strong enough
to try to find
the right hole

to get lost in.

The Anneslee Poems: Lie To Me

I see it coming
like a freight train
a mile down the tracks
ready to roll over me
but not to stop
at a moment’s notice.

They say the truth
will set you free
but all the truth
does is set free
your need
to get out
as fast as you can
because I’ll never catch
you –
you’re just a boy
dressed like a man.

I see you running,
desperate to escape
an impossible situation
where you cannot save
or be saved.
You’re already out
the door
and your feet
haven’t even moved yet.

This is why
I lie –
nobody wins

being honest.

The Anneslee Poems: Let It Burn

I strike the match
and touch it
to my dress
until I burn up
in smoke
and ash –
a ghost
who can fly away
farther than the moon
away from you
away from this
and all the hate
that swallows you
when you crawl
into your bottle

every night.

The Anneslee Poems: Inheritance

There’s something vile
in me,
like rotten fish carcasses
baking in the hot July sun.

I can’t scrub it off
or cut it out.

Even burning it
leaves the smell behind.

It’s a part of me –
this stench.

It’s a part of the bone and sinew –
the flesh –
I cannot escape.

It’s you. 

The Anneslee Poems: Heart Scars

I remember
your hands –
how soft
they looked,
how hard
they felt
my skin
over and over
as they slammed
into me,
trying to mold me
into something
or someone
more like you.

No one ever knew
what those hands could do.
Not like I did.
Not like I do.
Because let’s not pretend
those hands
don’t still leave a mark.

Your handprint
isn’t just a memory to me,
but rather a scar

I’ll have long after you’re gone.

The Anneslee Poems: Every Day

Missed calls,
Mountain Chablis,
beige bedspreads,
bruising handprints

– a mother’s love.