Caller ID

I see your name
before I hear your voice
and there's just a moment
where I feel the breath
catch -
my throat muscles tense.

My palms feel damp
with the humidity
of possibility.

I say hello
and instantly
my body relaxes.

My soul sighs
as if your call
was all it needed
to survive
another day.

Nightly Routine

The cool air of night
blows in through my window
as the white noise
hum of the fan
drowns out the night noises
and my mind.

Sleep drifts in
to curl
its long fingertips
around me
with a grip
that tells me
I am safe
until morning
and I cannot stop
my body
from relaxing.

I sink into my six pillows
and feel my day
slip away into blackness.

Yet still I think of you.

Your face permeates
my fading thoughts
and I wonder
what you're up to,
if you're still awake
or if sleep has found you, too.

My eyelids collapse -
the traitors -
and I can resist
slumber no more.

These thoughts
and you
will be there
in the morning.

Blackberry Picking

The sweet scent of overripe blackberries
hangs in the air like Spanish moss
on the Live Oak trees back home
and I want to pluck
them from their slumber
on the vines that assault
every random space their tendrils
can reach.

Blackberry pie sounds delightful
and I know you'd like it too.

How easy it is to do the things
you always wanted me to do
now that you're not here.

Thoughts

These thoughts of you-
they are mine,
you can't have them.

They comfort me
in the dark
when I worry
I am not alone.

They bring me joy
when tears
threaten my cheeks.

They warm my heart
when it grows
cold and starts
to wither away.

These thoughts of you-
they are treacherous,
they consume me
like salty pluff mud
out past the dock
of our youth.

You cannot see
how the possibility
of you affects me
every day.

They whisper
like crickets
chirping in my ears,
telling me it's okay
to want more.

How my heart
betrays me
every time
I think of you.

Anticipation

I hear my heartbeat
in my ears
but cannot feel it
in my chest

My ribs cage
an empty nest

yet I exist
still...

I feel a flutter
in my bones
and I second guess
myself
that no one's home
that my heart has left
me alone

yet the whisper
of you burns
my insides

and I hesitate
on the precipice
knowing
this is it...

I leap
and take all my chances.

As Long As I'm With You

This house could burn down
around us,
but I wouldn’t see the flames
or feel my skin melt
or taste the ash in the air.

This car could smash
into a thousand pieces
with us in it,
but I wouldn’t hear the glass shatter
or feel the metal scrape my skin
or taste the busted lip
the dashboard gave me.

It could all end tomorrow –
this world we live in –
but I wouldn’t know the difference
or feel the rot permeate my bones
or taste the dirt as I turn to dust.

“Could” means nothing
when you are by my side.

Wordplay

Words on a phone
said moments ago
bridge the gap
of miles between us

A flutter in my chest
says I need to come home
but what more is there
than past between us?

Could our past present tense
lead to a future rest
or is that just wishful thinking?

Across an ocean and back again
I keep wondering
how good it could be
if it was my doorstep
you came home to
when your trip was over.

Are questions like that allowed?

Words on a phone are great
but it's the words you say
face to face
that say
everything.