Saturday, September 3, 2016

Our Disney Doesn't Exist

I see your name
on my caller ID
and the warm vanilla tones
of your voice
fills my ears -
the memories
of years gone by
still so fresh
I can smell your cologne
on an old shirt
you let me keep.

We were so close, 
thieves thick with lies
we told
each other
hoping one day
we would live up to them
but never trying
to actually be
who we said we were. 

But who were we?

What were we?

We were a fairy tale
without the happy ending,
a Tinkerbell who found her Pan
who loved the sprite in her
but not when she tried to be human. 

I was the one
you named villain, 
shackled with the blame
of our failed attempts
at something good
(though that is like Captain Hook
calling out Rumpelstiltskin).

We wielded deceit 
with the precision 
of a knight's blade
as though we were trained
to cut deep and true;
but my feelings - 
then and now - 
for you have not waned 
in your absence.  

It doesn't matter now,
but I would do it over again
just to leave you lipstick kisses
and hear your voice
lulling me to sleep
like a siren in the Atlantic mist
making promises 
you'll never keep -
because even to have
your promises 
is better than this silence. 

I answer your call
and wait for the lies
like I am
waiting on Christmas.

This - This - This - 
I must remind myself
is what we wished for.

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