Exposure

I see you all the time
and I wonder if I left,
went to another town
another city, state, planet
would I still see you?

Would you be there
reminding me of what wasn’t?
Would you be everywhere
I didn’t want you to be?

I feel like I’m standing
in the snow
with no clothes on
and you’re there watching
behind the glass of your home
with a fire and double-paned windows,
drinking espresso
with some long haired, long-legged lost cause
that makes you feel purposeful…

and I’m freezing,
alone
outside in the blizzard
that has been my life
since my memories began.

why couldn’t you ever see
I needed to be saved too,
to be wrapped up tight
with love and blankets
by a warm fire
with you?

They say after awhile
you go numb from the cold,
from the constant exposure,
and pain…

I’m still waiting.