Saturday, April 6, 2013

Insomnia

It's just after 3am
and I can't sleep.
I never really sleep
anymore. I just close
my eyes
and wait for daylight.

The day slips by
without a second glance
and it's night again.
I lie in bed
and try to think
of  a way
to break
the pattern.

When did I sleep last?
Was it before you
or after?
Was I alone?

I can't seem to remember
the answers.

The thoughts in my head
rotate like the blades
of the box fan
I keep on
even in winter -
the air stays cleaner
that way.

It comes back to me
in a flash
like a lightning strike
before dawn
and I remember
the last time slept,
really slept
as if the world
didn't exist
beyond my next breath
and it was in the womb.

Thirty-three years later
I'm still hoping
tonight's the night
I will rest again.

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